It came upon a midnight dreary

Nighttime parenting-I'm just going to put it out there, I'm TERRIBLE at it.  Why? Because I turn into to one grumpy to put it mildly, impatient, and delirious person.  I think this comes from the fact that I haven't slept through the night in over 3 years, we co-sleep and my littlest little becomes the spawn of some insomniac demon.  SERIOUSLY, this is no joke.  I know ya'll are thinking "Oh, he can't be that bad", or "I know him in-real-life and he is so happy" and all I can say is.....okay, he's yours for ONE night or as many as you can handle.  This kid of mine, well I'm to the point of hiring a body double or stand in parent during the night and I don't even know if that kind of thing exists but if it doesn't I think I've just tapped into a part of the baby market that has been thus far ignored but so desperately NEEDED.   I think this idea is SO good, I'm ready to take it to Shark Tank.  Maybe this is the lack of sleep talking.

I don't think I can find the words to paint an accurate picture of what it is like to sleep with Baby J on a nightly basis but I'm definitely going to try-so sit back and enjoy the scenery of our nighttime dance unfold before you, complete with run on sentences and the most vivid language I can muster.

Baby J starts his night in the crib, goes down with ease (I mean, REALLY easy-rock him for a few, sing a song and pat his back for a minute easy) but still doesn't sleep through the night.  Annnnnnd then the startling screams and half awake whines start.  Baby J is restless, sooooooo restless.  He will physically attempt to roll me on my back and then proceed to turn my head sideways so he can lay his WHOLE head across my face.  He will also wedge his entire head under my chin slowing crushing my wind pipe while gently stroking my cheek, or he will do several 360's until he is nuzzled as close to me and in the crook of my arm, or sometimes he'll just jab my throat and poke me in the eyes to make sure I'm alive, or I'll roll over onto my side and will immediately feel his bowling ball head, knee or foot in my back.  Did I mention that when I finally get a good choke hold on him he starts kicking-just searching for some point of contact where he can inflict his nightly act of mommy terrorism.  Last night I got a REAL good head butt right to the nose, and of course expletives flew from my mouth in every direction.   That's just a tiny taste of as of late, I think I block out most of it or else insanity would be my new middle name.

Nighttime parenting is just HARD.  I'm not good at it, and I just want Baby J to sleep through the night (did I mention that he is 17 months old, and has been weened for almost 4 months now).  Maybe my expectations of getting a WHOLE night of uninterrupted sleep is shooting for the moon, but I honestly thought it would be a possibility at this point.  Maybe tomorrow night?  

The little blog that could

Oh my poor little babies-n-bloom blog, you poor forgotten, abandoned, neglected blog.  Being new (mostly) to the blogosphere, its really easy to feel dejected when no one is following, or you feel that you aren't a good writer when you read a more popular and extremely funny mommy blog and start comparing, or you don't think that expressing yourself or documenting your life (for yourself and your family) is something of value. It is, it most definitely is.  My mother wrote in journals for years, we have albums filled with wonderful memories from our childhood and I want that for my children.  I want them to remember their childhood through me when they can't remember the precious things they said and did, and I want to remember those moments too.  I am lazy sometimes, but I don't want to be. The end.  

Happy Burrrrrrrrrrrrrfthday

You say it's your birthday, and yes you would be CORRECT! I will now dub thee the smartest 2year old I know.  At least that's the fun little not so far from crazy town reel that plays in my head on the day of your birth, because in reality X-man is only sorta talking and it's definitely a LOT of jibberish.

*time out* I just have to share the most ridiculous commercial I just saw for a life size teddy bear (the cheese factor was truly up there with the miracle products sold on late night television)....that every girlfriend/wife/significant other is just DYING to receive on Valentine's Day. Cuz ya know, nothing says I Love You like a fluffy stuffed bear to convey the deepest feelings of your heart on V-Day...I think that maybe if I continue down this path I will just spiral into a negative rant about said "holiday", so *time in*

X-Man is TWO YEARS OLD today, I just can't believe that I gave birth to this dude (and that's exactly what he is becoming)two years ago.  He has taught me how to be a mommy, and he has also been my guinea pig for parenting tips sometimes gone right or not(stay tuned for my holier-than-though parenting book due out next to NEVER), he has such a quiet calm personality (I just can't wait for the terrible two's let me tell ya) and through my mommy rose colored glasses he has the most adorable little man face, like top model adorable.  Is it ok to say that I have had the most FUN being his mommy? This is not to say that we haven't had our fair share of challenges, and I'm sure there are plenty in our future.

I occasionally look through photos of him since the day he was born, and I couldn't tell you where the time has gone....pre-emptive warning, you are allowed to roll your eyes at my next statement.... It reminds me of that John Mayer song "Stop this train"......
you'll renegotiate

Don't stop this train

Don't for a minute change the place you're in

Don't think I couldn't ever understand

I tried my hand

John, honestly we'll never stop this train

And there you have it. As much as I want to burn every little tiny detail of every day of our lives with X-man it's impossible, and that just makes me want to bottle him up so he can't get any older. Another impossibility, I know.  So, Happy Birthday to my first little man.

Click here to view these pictures larger

Smushy mushy

It's a little known secret that I am a huge mush bucket that wears her beating heart on her sleeve (and yes, third person narrative always required when referring to thyself).  If you knew this about me then go along your merry way, but today is the day I am going to get mushy about my blessings....ya know, the things in my life that I thank God for every day and some things I don't thank God for enough.  So lately I've been somewhat angry, impatient and maybe feeling down right nasty (I am gonna blame the raging hormones that are back in full effect post baby), but there you have it....I don't always feel like a shiny new penny fresh from the mint and am most definitely not as enthusiastic about the day-to-day....and I'm hoping the frustration isn't something that only I feel or it's abnormal or makes me a bad wife/mom/daughter....which also makes me a little more angry that I let my neurosis run away with itself like a track star. Or maybe this is what a sleep deprived person looks like, ha!

I have always been a believer that God will send me the things I need to hear/read/witness...and I usually "get" it when it keeps happening....my husband reminded me yesterday how great we have it (I wanted to remind him that he isn't the one up several times at night). I really really really need to stop letting the trees ruin my view of the beautiful forest that is my life.

My husband is such an amazing rock, who is so kind and gentle and is my pinch hitter in the patience department when I've pulled a hammie over a tantrum and disciplining an almost 2 year old.  I owe him more hugs and kisses then I will ever be able to dole out.  I mean we created the miracle of life darn it.....pretty awesome.  Speaking of the miracle of life.....those babes of mine are totally worth it.  They are so sweet, cuddly, they make me laugh and cry (tears of joy, of course) all at the same time and I don't think I knew a love this deep could exist until they made their respective debuts. (How much mush can a reader take?)....I could write a novel that would rival Melville, Tolstoy, J.K. Rowling aaaaaaaaaaaand Rand all together but I won't.  I'll save the rest for another day.  I'm gonna go and enjoy my blessings.

1. Baby J is yap, yap, yapping soooooo much more

2. Literally anything can be a hat, no?

3. This lucky lady gets to hang with that handsome guy every night 

Post Super Bowl post

Hmmm....The Super Bowl was yesterday....and if I had just read that I would have already closed the page, and added a snarky thanks captain obvious. I don't have a clue where this post is going, but I'll throw a Hail Mary pass at it and "win one for the Gipper" and see where that takes me (or maybe I should try for a Guinness record of most sports analogies inserted into a non-sports blog).

As already previously stated the blow out that was the Super Bowl was soooooo anti- climactic that I was ready for the never ending season of baseball to return with a quickness.  I really enjoyed watching P. Mann do his thing this season (disclaimer: I only only watch football on Sundays and still don't understand most of it) and was looking forward to ole Vince-e-poo Lombardi gracing his shiny pigskin into the hands of said QB.  Buuuuuuuut, didn't happen......so I indulged in something much better (no, it wasn't Downton Abbey)- the gluttony that is a Super Bowl smorgasbord of tasty, salty, spicy goodness.

We decided to host a small shindig in honor of the day and I spent all day in a flurry prepping food and floors (the amount of dog hair and dust bunnies hopping about was somewhat shameful....Queen of the domicile right here!) for a fun night of festivities.  Any who, in case you're interested in recipes I'm gonna share 'em....with the exception of the chili recipe because the large tome my brother wrote will not be re-typed by this girl anytime soon.

The menu:

Guacamole....I know, I know, everyone makes guac but I really love (so much I might wanna marry it) this recipe is 2-LEGIT-2-QUIT

Crock-pot drummies.  I didn't want an oven option because I wanted them to be ready and stay warm for several hours, so I did these.  They were tasty and very subtle, next time I will add more ginger and honey as the soy sauce was kind overwhelming the flavor.

Buffalo chicken dip, also in a crockpot because I love me some easy throw it in a pot and let it work some magic recipes.  I'm actually going to type this out because I couldn't find a link to the recipe I use....
1 whole rotisserie chicken, deboned and shredded (rotisserie chicken is the BEST, not much more expensive than a raw bird....and hand-over-fist better than canned chicken, but if you prefer easy then used the canned stuff- equivalent to the amount of a whole bird)
1.5 pkg cream cheese, softened
1.5 cups Frank's red hot (the best hot sauce IMHO)
1.5 cups Hidden Valley Ranch.....I will go fist-to-cuffs with anyone who doesn't think this ranch is far beyond compare

-throw it all in the crock pot until warm and cream cheese is all melted and blended.

So yeah, I'm not a walking paid advertisement.....yet? *wink, wink*

I did serve the obligatory veggies and dip, which only brought down my level of gluttony a wee smidge of a hair. And some amazing friends brought all the provisions for a French75, yum yum yum.....so good and surprisingly didn't put hair on the chest. And another friend brought over the BEST brownies- such ooooeygooooeyfudgeynes!

Today the snow is falling in big huge clumps, and I'm kicking myself real hard for deciding to freeze the leftover chili....I will be enjoying more brownies though! I'll just have a second cup of my sweet nectar instead. (side note, I will NOT be writing anymore posts from the iPad, I know its completely random-which I admittedly am frequently-but the interface just S-T-I-N-K-S like 5 day old baby diaper! too much? whatevs)

That's my back yard peeps! Kind of obsessed with how google+ "animates" some of my photos!

I'm sensing a theme....

Do you hear what I hear? *crickets and even more crickets*  Yup, and I'm extremely excited about those crickets too....because *drum roll* both of my babes are SLEEPING at the same time.  Miracle of miracles for sure, at least for me.  I have been working on this since Baby J was born and my stats for victory are like -0.000087% success. Now I'm just awaiting the dreaded whines from upstairs indicating X-man has just pooed in his diaper and refuses to just stay asleep with the stink bomb in-situ.  Its moments like this that make me hold my breath for about 1.2 seconds then run around the house like a chihuahua on speed (laundry, dishes, toys everywhere, folding clothes, and continue with the endless list) although I would rather be sipping my nectar and lounging on the couch watching bad day time television. 

So back to my theme for the week...accomplishments.  I made it to the gym today, after a 3 day hiatus.  It took 2 days just to talk myself into actually venturing to that self imposed torture facility and believe me it only would have taken one/uno/ein eensie-teensie negative suggestion to keep me from going. Honestly, its the even LARGER negative thought of becoming a fattie that keeps me going, plus I do feel good AFTER.  What can I say, I'm a walking contradiction with most of my feelings towards any given thing. 

It is X-Man's birthday soon so today I put on my big girl panties and put together his tricycle, from his GiGi and Papa, all by lonesome.  I like working with my hands and putting things together, strange but true fact about myself. Give me a hammer and you may get a picture hung or a hole in the wall....I did say I was enthusiastic but never did I say I was GOOD at it.  Anywho, the trike was super duper easy peasy to put together and came with a how-to in pictures (my fave, cuz who wants to READ instructions?) and took 15 minutes.  I even had pictorial evidence for you!

BEFORE

AFTER

Blogger and better things OR Case of the Tuesdays

If the title wasn't enough to pique your interest in my musings for the day, then let me enlighten.  You see, I'm terrible at keeping up with my blog but in my head I constantly have these great light bulbs pinging off all the time (also possible I have undiagnosed ADD).....alas a case of the Tuesdays has struck and now you 're stuck with this.  A case of the Tuesdays you are saying to yourself, I thought it was a case of the Mundays-and you would be mostly right unless of course you are me and somehow the feeling from yesterday has crept into today.  First its subzero temps here and the hubs work related absence is making the days LONG.  However, today I had to make a list of my accomplishments-small but mighty, its the little things right?

1. Diapers are CLEAN and somewhat put together for usage, plus reading my fave blog ever...go check it out  here

2. Oh nectar of the gods, why do you taste so good and ultimately disappear too quickly????

3. Made it to story time this am at a new place, and was pleasantly surprised this place sells new and consignment stuff....SO Baby J has his first pair of wellies that he may fit into in like a year? Ever prepared am I!

4. Thank you craigslist for finally gracing me with a kiddie table and chairs....I'm super picky and wanted wood.

5. But Kendra, that's just a picture of your baby and its not like you grew him, birthed him and all that jazz in one day and again dear readers you would be correct.....the accomplishment today is that he is DRESSED! Victory and a round of applause please!

6. Yamaka or helmet, you decide.